In high school I pretty much had one friend that I stuck around with most of the time, (usually some dumb boy) sure there were others and people I sat next to in class that I was friendly with, but nothing that would really be considered friendship.
There are varying reasons for that, I am very shy when getting to know a person, I felt awkward in social situations and was very afraid that I would say something stupid, especially when it came to the “popular” kids. I wasn’t especially smart or beautiful or talented, I was pretty run-of-the-mill kind of gal. Being run-of-the-mill is ok, those are the people that make the world run. High school graduation was very freeing for me.
When I stared on facebook I just did it because Dadzoo thought it would be fun and he wanted me to play the games with him, but as I have been going along I have become drawn to finding people. I will find them, and look at their Friends, and see all these people I know, but I hardly ever add them, it is the old insecurity thing coming back. Sometimes it will take a couple of weeks before I gather the courage to ask someone to be my friend, then I am sure they won’t accept.
I wonder when I look at people profiles how different I would be if I had been more out going and friendly. I wonder if I was to go back and do it all over again, would I do things differently? I honestly don’t know. I still get very nervous in social situations and I am afraid I will do or say stupid things. I am not especially smart or pretty and my interests border on the weird.
I sit here in my computer and look at all these people, people that I thought I would never encounter again and I feel like I am 17 again (wish I had that body!) sitting in class looking out over the “popular” and “pretty” and saying to myself “they wouldn’t talk to me.” Funny how some things never change.
I’m the same way! I was very picky on my friends, and when I did make a friend they were my friend for life. I was lucky to never have one of those girl fights where you lose your best friend and never talk to them again, because I was cautious. I do go and look at their friend’s list sometimes and think.. wow, I know all of those people, but I not enough to add them.
You may have not felt pretty or popular in high school, but I think you are BOTH of those things now! Just look at how many friends you influence on your blog! And if your interests are “wierd”, at least you’re not alone…just read all the masses of comments you get every day! You may not FEEL like it, but girl, you ARE the popular crowd!
HUGS!
I don’t know if it will help you feel any better, but I was outgoing, and I thought I had a lot of friends as a teen (at different points in my teens, there was a time when I had to break away from one group for my own good, and I was lonely then). Today, even though I was the person who introduced people to each other and got things going, not one single childhood friend cares a pea about me. In fact, a number of them have been quite rude to me as I have made connections to them as adults. So, being different than you were may not have been the best thing. Personally I hate facebook. I don’t care if everyone is on there. I’d rather social network doing something worthwhile (like reading books, or learning a new language). Hugs!! I think we all feel lonely at times!
I don’t know you personally, but I really enjoy your blog. You have many interesting topics that keep me coming back. Some times we are our own tough critics. Keep strong, blessings
Linda
With all the places we’ve lived, facebook has been a WONDERFUL way to keep in touch. And now I’m quite addicted. But I’ll admit that I was that way a little when I first got on facebook. But then I got requested by a couple of people that were more like acquaintances and I’ve noticed that for the most part, people are just excited to see that someone remembers who they are.
If there’s someone you’d like to know about (how they are, are they married etc.) then request them and don’t feel nervous about it.
I think you were much more liked than you give yourself credit for. We are our own worst enemy sometimes.
Hope you have a great weekend.
*hugs*
WHAT???!!!! I’m driving the whole 2 streets to your house to smack you in the head girl! You are beautiful! (I wouldn’t really hit you, ya know)
You should have seen me in 7th grade. I wouldn’t even look up from the floor to talk to anyone. But, I saw other kids having fun NOT being shy, so I forced myself to not be shy anymore. LOL And lookit me now!
I’ve embarrassed myself plenty of times. It’s part of being human.
i wasn’t a popular girl…i have this problem called “truthfulness no matter the cost”…i am honest to the point that i may end up hurting…i’ve never seen the point in lying…it’s why i don’t do santa claus and the easter bunny and the tooth fairy with my kids..why lie when later i just have to tell them the truth anyway…i have one remaining friend from my high school years…however i have been requested, and requested myself, plenty of old high school aquaintences and it always amazes me that they would agree, or ask me to begin with…in my high school you either were dumb, but had money, smart and had money, or you didn’t matter…i feel in the didn’t matter because i was smart with NO money…my friend that is still my friend had even less money than me (not that i knew that at the time)…my point is this, how we are as adults is not how we were as children…the point of growing older is to learn and change and become more than you were…some people get that, some don’t…i think you’ve gotten that…i am also uncomfortable in social situations where i don’t know anyone but one or two people..i always wonder what is being thought of me, of how i look, of what i say, of how i am…it’s “stinkin’ thinkin’ ” but it’s how it is…and i agree with shimmy, some times we are our own best enemies..
I was outgoing and friendly in high school but I can’t think a a single person from that time I wanna reconnect with.
I don’t do facebook, I did myspace for a while and had several people from my high school as friends there, but never really talked to them.
I’m so over those days!
I was the same way. Social situation and I don’t mix. Whenever I think I could have done better if I knew what I now know, I remember that I am still the same way.
The first few weeks on facebook, I was amazed at who added me. I had to pull out my old high school yearbook to try to remember them. I was so shy and socially backwards and had few friends or even acquaintances, I have no idea why people would be more interested now that I am an adult.
Anyway, you can add me as your friend 🙂 But only if you don’t have more than 35000 on word challenge. Otherwise, you’ll make me sink in my rankings 😉
I will be your friend in real life. I have many of the same interests that border on wierd…and I KNOW there a lot of people that think I’m weird and just humor me. So girlfriend, wanna do lunch?
Hey! I’m on facebook. Find me under Farrah Cook Ginter if you’d like.