I haven’t blogged for almost 6 weeks, I wonder if anyone even reads this blog anymore! I usually give up on a blog when the writer goes this long without updating. While the blog has been long neglected it hasn’t been forgotten, always in the back of my mind, and as I went through my days I was always thinking and snapping pictures to blog about, however, other bigger circumstances were in the way. I have been hit right between the eyes with post-partum depression/anxiety. It really blind sighted me, never having suffered with it before. I am being treated by a wonderful holistic practitioner, who is caring for my physical body and by a therapist, who is more like a mentor, and he is taking care of my mind helping me to become stronger and not afraid. For the last couple weeks I have been feeling better than I have in a long, long time, years really. I think my depression and anxieties have been quietly festering below the surface for a while now, and the post-partum cocktail of hormones and lack of sleep brought everything sharply to the surface. I am thankful for that. Everything I had experienced during this last pregnancy and birth made it easier to identify the problem and so I was able to seek help quickly. I would like to write more about this later, maybe, mental illness is hard to share, it is so very personal and so very painful, it is hard to put oneself “out there”. Anyway, during all those blurry and fearful days, there were things going on, life as usual (and I am very good at going along as if life is as usual) children and babies to love (an oh how I love them), my dear husband who takes over where I fall short (and I have fallen so very short lately) along with a home and garden to care for. I thought I would share some snap shots of the last six week. I am also planning on getting back blogging, Dadzoo says I have important things to say and that I need to say them (although I don’t know if I agree with that). I feel anxious about this, but I won’t be afraid, I love blogging and I won’t let my fears keep me away from the things I love anymore.
Birdhouse gourds, this is about half of what we harvested.
Broccoli, there is nothing as wonderful as fresh broccoli from the garden.
Green cabbage, ready for harvest.
Purple Cabbage, this was harvested a couple weeks after the picture was taken.
Washing tomatoes from the garden.
Getting ready to make an can tomato sauce.
Fresh beets from the garden, they are going to be sliced and cooked up for dinner.
Carrots, sweet and fresh from the garden, there are many more waiting for harvest.
Chili sauce, our secrect family recipe and a favorite on eggs in the morning.
Purple Cabbage, sliced and ready for dinner, I love how this looks, the purple and white.
Making a big pot of chicken stock. It takes me 48 hours to make this and I store it in the freezer for quick soups in the wintertime.
hello! i am glad to hear that you are coming around. i have been in dark places before and had to pull myself (or have help doing so) out of them. it is no fun.
how do you make the chicken stock? i am very intrigued by it!
p.s. i got my clothes line up and i absolutely love it.
Yay for the clothes line!!! I have two more chickens in the freezer for stock making (next week?) and I will do a detailed post about it.. Chicken stock is really easy to make!
It’s hard to continue blogging when you don’t know if people are listening. It would definitely be harder if you’re suffering in any way. I’ve been there before and did not get timely help. Kudos to you for recognizing a problem and getting help so quickly. Hope you feel better soon.
And, I follow your blog whether I comment or not. I’ll continue reading any blog I follow, even if they don’t post often.
I’ve missed your posts! I’m so glad you are back! I think going through those dark places make us appreciate the light ones even more. P.S. Those gourds are so pretty!
Sounds like we’ve both had our trials after the births of our “twinner” babies. I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with all the postpartum depression. Thank goodness for good medical help and loving family to help you! That makes a big difference.
I can’t believe how much you’ve gotten from your garden. All we got was potatoes and onions. My excuse was being pregnant with the baby and all that happened with him after. Now that excuse is blown out of the water by you!
Aimee–it is SO good to see a post from you! I always check to see if you’ve posted; I SO enjoy your blog!
I understand and empathize with you about post-partum depression! After my youngest was born, I had no idea what was going on–I had anxiety, etc–this progressed to a clinical depression because we didn’t know what was going on. To make a long story short–a friend did understand what was going on and spent time with me; later I had counseling and found an awesome doctor and things improved!
I’m so glad that you, too, have found the help you needed and that your husband is so very supportive of you! I think something very good will come out of this–I know in my case it did:)
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Be blessed,
Aimee
Hi Aimee,
I have definitely missed your posts and check frequently to see what you have been up to. I’m glad you’re feeling stronger. Sending prayers to you!
I always follow. I love your blog, and yes, you do have much important things to say. I agree whole heartedly with everything you post! You have such a wonderful way of saying things. Keep it up. I am glad that you are getting help, something must be in the air, because though I did not have PPD, I went through a douzy of a year, and was so greatful to hear the words “you are not forgotten”. and especially…”be patient with yourself.” I think that is my greatest stumbling block, and maybe one day I will learn to be a little more patient with myself, and realize that I am loved even when I am not perfect. I also think It would be good if we all could not “measure our weaknesses with others strengths.” Know how loved you are! You are great!
Melanie
i’m still checking your blog! 🙂 i love reading your posts!
Aimee,
So nice to hear from you again. I can understand what you are going through. I have been going through it for about a year, it got better but came back with a vengence a couple months ago. It is nice to know sometimes you are not the only one who has this or has had it, though I don’t wish it on anyone.
Love the pictures, we can’t grow gourds where we live now, but we used to grow lots of them. Our son one year planted them everywhere the field, under their playhouse, the driveway they were popping up everywhere. We didn’t know he had gotten so happy at planting till they all started popping up. He was 5….we had a bumper crop of them that year and goats don’t eat them.
Love,
Erika
I’m sorry you’ve been struggling! I had no idea, because you’re so good at putting on a happy face when I see you! If you ever need to hang out, or chat, I’m home A LOT now! 🙂