Discounting the Positive

A couple of days ago punk #2 came home from school in a bad mood.  She is a very easy going person, who rarely gets upset and when she does she is more likely to cry than yell or rage around.  It can be hard, at times, to pick up on her bad moods, because she is so quiet about it, but that day it was obvious, she cried about everything!  When things settled down for the evening I asked her what was bothering her.  At first she couldn’t really say but as we talked some more about her day she realized that she was very upset about her grade on a math test that day.  She missed one point, one point out of one hundred.  Yes, she was upset over one. little. point.

I understood her disapointment, she really wanted to get 100% on this test and she worked hard to do so, however she still got an “A”.  I told how proud we were of her and that she should be pleased with her test, she worked hard and did a very good job.

She still wasn’t happy, “But I wanted it to be perfect,” she told me.

“Katie, you can’t aways be perfect,working hard and doing your best is what matters.”

“But I want to be perfect.”

I went on to explain to her that because she was so focased on perfection that she wasn’t allowing herself to be happy about all the things she does do perfectly.  Sure she missed one point, but she did 99 points perfectly, and that is what she should be thinking and talking about, and she should be proud and happy about those 99 perfect points.  We talked for a little longer, hugged and she went off to bed.  I think she understood what I was trying to say, since then she has told me of times that she caught herself discounting the positive. She is trying (little miss perfect) to stop doing that and focas on the postive.

Later that night I was thinking about our converstation, and I thought about all those times I discount the positives in my life.  Do I focas more on the one thing Dadzoo isn’t doing, and forget the 99 other things he does for me in a day?  Do I worry about that one (or two or three)  chore I didn’t finish durring the day and forget the 99 hugs, kisses and loves I did do during the day?  Do I fret over the one person at church that didn’t say “hi” and forget about the 99 other people who did?  (ok, not really 99 other people, but you get my drift.)

I think it is time I stop discounting all the positive in my life.  Let’s acknowledge the failures and move on celebrating the positives in our lives.