Gossip hurts,
and I need to repent.
This weekend it came to my attention that I was briefly the topic of conversation among a group of ladies. Apparently I am thought of as kind of weird in a few areas, and in one area in particular I am especially strange and wrong. The person who told me all this didn’t mean to hurt my feelings, and at the time we laughed at what was being said, although deep inside it stung, and as the day went on the feelings of hurt became more acute. I don’t have many friends, and I feel as if I generally have a hard time fitting into any group, and this particular group I don’t really feel like I fit it very well, but I did feel wanted, until now. Later that evening I was at a party with some of the members of this “group” and in total honesty, I felt like an outsider, I felt judged, I felt like I didn’t belong and I could see very well how much I didn’t fit in.
My judgment had been clouded.
I probably was being a little too sensitive, but I was hurting.
Here is the part that really upset me.
As I was sitting there, silently watching everyone, feeling more and more depressed, it occurred to me that I had done the exact same thing to almost everyone in the room. That very thing that was making me feel horribly isolated, I had done, and more than once. I would never consider myself a gossip, until I honestly looked at myself. I would never consider the things I had said as very hurtful, until I was on the receiving end of gossip. It hit me square in the heart, I need to repent and change my tone of conversation. I am going to work really hard at only saying kind words, at only speaking of someone if what I am about to say could be said in their presence. The only time negative information will pass my lips is if someone needs to know, taking the word NEED very seriously.
I don’t want to create hurt like I felt, and I am truly sorry for any pain I have cause because of my own gossiping. It was a hard lesson to learn.
You’re not alone in this. I know I need to work on it and I’m sure the majority of the rest of us do, too.
ouch. i am so sorry that happened to you.
i have been there, my friend.
and ALL of us are gossips to a certain degree. don’t beat yourself up too badly because you are recognizing a need to change and you are going to try to be better.
i am going to join you on this quest.
i am teaching relief society this sunday and it is a lesson called ‘the power of kindness’… i hope its okay if i use your experience in my lesson. please let me know if it is not okay. i would not use names, of course.
thank you for your post… it is a great reminder to all of us.
Go right ahead and use this, I would love for someone to learn from this experience. 🙂
thanks! we ALL need to learn from this experience.
I’m sorry this happened to you! When we saw you at the parade, all I could think is there is that cute lady with her beautiful girls! I hope we didn’t upset by talking about you. We were saying how adorable your kids are, and how you can tell that they are Kieffers. I love you guys! You are an amazing women! ((hugs))
Oh Aimee.. I have found myself on both ends of this as well. It is so important for us to each live our lives as our best selves. The whole process of moving and being in WA, for me, has been such a learning and growing experience. I LOVE how you said that you’re working on not saying anything unless you can say it in the presence of the other person!! We would ALL benefit from living life the same way!
Oh Miranda, heavens no! It wasn’t that at all, I thought you guys were being sweet 😉
I am actually glad it happened, it gave me an opportunity to look at myself honetly and make changes. That is always a good thing.
Aimee,
I love this post such a wonderful lesson for all. Thank you for posting this. By the way I talk about you a lot hoping all is well, wondering what your doing, and glad that we met on the net. Have a wonderful day friend and I too don’t have to many people I can call a true friend.
Erika
Aimee, I admire you so very much. You are a strong, amazing woman. Never ever forget that!
Guilty of this at times too. A very good post Aimee. Thank you for your transparency and honesty.
Blessings,
Aimee
PS: I don’t have a lot of friends either being a bit on the shy side. I am quite OK with that 🙂